Lefty's Burger (Vandalizer) ~ Moscow, ID
Lefty's is a cool little diner located on the inside corner of the Palouse Mall in Moscow, ID. I wouldn't say they have the best burgers in the area, but they are in the running. What they do have, other than an off the wall sense of humor ("Meat, Drink, and be Merry" ~ see the murals), excellent fries, and killer milkshakes, is the Vandalizer. 
It's a challenge that's 2# of beef, all the fixin's, fries, milkshake, and bun. Eat it in 1 hour, keep it down for 5 minutes, and the meal (plus a t-shirt) is free.
What makes the vandalizer so appealing, other than chalking up another of the 7 deadly sins (3 down!), is the vanity of (almost) immortality. See, they actually keep track of who finishes this hunk o' cow. Not only that, but they record the height, weight, age, and time it took to finish, and engrave it on a little metal tag that hangs by the door. Yes, your name can go next to the 14 year old kid who ate it in 42 minutes.
What's not to love? Let me tell you.
First, that is the biggest 2 pounds of food ever *EVER* The waitress told me that they measure it in the back to make sure it's proper weight before it comes out. I think the scale is a bit off. I've finished the NYC sumo burger after eating a surf and turf with a 2# london broil, and it was a challenge, but didn't stop me.
This did.
The one thing that prevented me from finishing was the 5 hour drive to Seattle I was planning for the next morning. I didn't really want to have a ton of protein weighing me down during the trip (that turned out to be fairly white knuckle over the Snoqualmie Pass). The other thing was age and metabolism. I just am not the eater I used to be.
After 30, I think things generally go either straight to the waist, or straight to the arteries. Either way, I'll pass.
That said, one of my dining companions, who's a decade younger and more up to the challenge than the overly cocksure author, went for it. He was plowing steadily through the burger and working on the milkshake. At this point (20 minutes in), I stopped eating and started picking. I have to say that their milkshakes are d@mn good.
Sean worked it good, but we were starting to get worried around 40 minutes in when he stopped, took off his sweatshirt and gave a sigh that made me think of Mr. Creosote ( It's only a wafer thin mint). The next 20 minutes were torture. Not to us, but to Sean. While I had decided that my $20 burger would go into the budget as sin/stupidity tax, he kept going.
50 minutes, and the pacing started. He sat back down to the now cold burger and started dipping it into the fry sauce lazily. This was either a vision of determination against defeat... or youthful stupidity. I still can't say.
As sean got down the rest of the beef, he started working on the soggy, cold, kind of really gross fatty bun. Setting aside the lettuce, tomato, fries, and shake, he worked on it, but was beaten by the clock. An hour passed and there were merely scraps to finish.
It was so close, but at the end of it all- not enough. Neither of us had finished the challenge. Each out $25 with tax and tip. I took my remaining bits home, thinking I would throw it on the scale to see if it really was 2#. By the time I got home, I really didn't want to see what was in the styrofoam clamshell of death. I'll take their word for it...
I think I'll stick to human sized meals...
It's a challenge that's 2# of beef, all the fixin's, fries, milkshake, and bun. Eat it in 1 hour, keep it down for 5 minutes, and the meal (plus a t-shirt) is free.
What makes the vandalizer so appealing, other than chalking up another of the 7 deadly sins (3 down!), is the vanity of (almost) immortality. See, they actually keep track of who finishes this hunk o' cow. Not only that, but they record the height, weight, age, and time it took to finish, and engrave it on a little metal tag that hangs by the door. Yes, your name can go next to the 14 year old kid who ate it in 42 minutes.
What's not to love? Let me tell you. First, that is the biggest 2 pounds of food ever *EVER* The waitress told me that they measure it in the back to make sure it's proper weight before it comes out. I think the scale is a bit off. I've finished the NYC sumo burger after eating a surf and turf with a 2# london broil, and it was a challenge, but didn't stop me.
This did.
The one thing that prevented me from finishing was the 5 hour drive to Seattle I was planning for the next morning. I didn't really want to have a ton of protein weighing me down during the trip (that turned out to be fairly white knuckle over the Snoqualmie Pass). The other thing was age and metabolism. I just am not the eater I used to be.
After 30, I think things generally go either straight to the waist, or straight to the arteries. Either way, I'll pass.
That said, one of my dining companions, who's a decade younger and more up to the challenge than the overly cocksure author, went for it. He was plowing steadily through the burger and working on the milkshake. At this point (20 minutes in), I stopped eating and started picking. I have to say that their milkshakes are d@mn good.
Sean worked it good, but we were starting to get worried around 40 minutes in when he stopped, took off his sweatshirt and gave a sigh that made me think of Mr. Creosote ( It's only a wafer thin mint). The next 20 minutes were torture. Not to us, but to Sean. While I had decided that my $20 burger would go into the budget as sin/stupidity tax, he kept going.
50 minutes, and the pacing started. He sat back down to the now cold burger and started dipping it into the fry sauce lazily. This was either a vision of determination against defeat... or youthful stupidity. I still can't say.
As sean got down the rest of the beef, he started working on the soggy, cold, kind of really gross fatty bun. Setting aside the lettuce, tomato, fries, and shake, he worked on it, but was beaten by the clock. An hour passed and there were merely scraps to finish.
It was so close, but at the end of it all- not enough. Neither of us had finished the challenge. Each out $25 with tax and tip. I took my remaining bits home, thinking I would throw it on the scale to see if it really was 2#. By the time I got home, I really didn't want to see what was in the styrofoam clamshell of death. I'll take their word for it...
I think I'll stick to human sized meals...
posted by E. Ting at 3:09 PM
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